Bury My Heart Beneath My Old Irish Pride Shirts
The following account is a true story that happened to me last year on Saint Patrick's Day. The story is short and sweet, so no need to go get popcorn or take a bathroom break. It involves a lovely young lady, terrible choices, Saint Patrick's Day, ridiculous Irish tee shirts, and my inevitable lonely death.
The specific thing that I lost because of my silly Irish tees is a woman. This is not just any woman, but the girl that I had been crushing on ever-so-hard in my office building for something like 3 years. I would usually only see her in the morning as we rode the elevator up to our respective jobs. Long red hair, freckles, and a smile to die for.
One fine and crisp day when the sun was peeking through the late winter clouds, I found myself stealing glances at this woman who I was crushing on so hard it hurt. In an instant of insanity, I just blurted out, "Hey, I see you almost every day on my way to the office. Would you like to go out tomorrow night?" I know, right? It was a crazy thing to say three levels too loudly. What is even crazier is that she said yes!
Well, what I didn't realize until the next day when I came to work and everyone was wearing green, is that the next day was Saint Patrick's Day. While I was figuring out what I should do about my date I was being pinched every three minutes or so because I had, of course, forgotten all about the holiday. I normally go out drinking and act like a fool on Saint Patrick's Day...but now I had a date with my dream girl, so I had to adjust.
I have to warn you that I am a complete moron, so please refrain from emailing me and telling me so. I tell myself all the time. Saying that, here's my imperfect plan to celebrate the greatness of St. Patrick's Day and the wonders of a new date. I figured in my very weak brain that I could possibly do both. The way I planned on accomplishing this feat would be to get ready in my awesome Irish tees before the date, so I would be ready to go right to the bar after dinner. How could this go wrong?
I got to the date early and sat there in my booth drinking beer when she arrived. I can imagine what she was thinking when she came in and there is her date sitting there wearing the craziest Irish t-shirts and outfit that you can possibly imagine. I had a green sports jacket, a green wig, and a big rhinestone clover on my back. Much to her credit, she actually sat down and ate a meal with me despite, what looked like, overwhelming embarrassment.
I don't have to mention that she never accepted one of my many attempts at a second date. I did have a great night after the date, though...so there's some silver lining to that terrible life-lesson I learned that day. Take it from me, friends: girls don't think that silly Irish t-shirts are as awesome as you do, even on St. Patrick's Day.
The specific thing that I lost because of my silly Irish tees is a woman. This is not just any woman, but the girl that I had been crushing on ever-so-hard in my office building for something like 3 years. I would usually only see her in the morning as we rode the elevator up to our respective jobs. Long red hair, freckles, and a smile to die for.
One fine and crisp day when the sun was peeking through the late winter clouds, I found myself stealing glances at this woman who I was crushing on so hard it hurt. In an instant of insanity, I just blurted out, "Hey, I see you almost every day on my way to the office. Would you like to go out tomorrow night?" I know, right? It was a crazy thing to say three levels too loudly. What is even crazier is that she said yes!
Well, what I didn't realize until the next day when I came to work and everyone was wearing green, is that the next day was Saint Patrick's Day. While I was figuring out what I should do about my date I was being pinched every three minutes or so because I had, of course, forgotten all about the holiday. I normally go out drinking and act like a fool on Saint Patrick's Day...but now I had a date with my dream girl, so I had to adjust.
I have to warn you that I am a complete moron, so please refrain from emailing me and telling me so. I tell myself all the time. Saying that, here's my imperfect plan to celebrate the greatness of St. Patrick's Day and the wonders of a new date. I figured in my very weak brain that I could possibly do both. The way I planned on accomplishing this feat would be to get ready in my awesome Irish tees before the date, so I would be ready to go right to the bar after dinner. How could this go wrong?
I got to the date early and sat there in my booth drinking beer when she arrived. I can imagine what she was thinking when she came in and there is her date sitting there wearing the craziest Irish t-shirts and outfit that you can possibly imagine. I had a green sports jacket, a green wig, and a big rhinestone clover on my back. Much to her credit, she actually sat down and ate a meal with me despite, what looked like, overwhelming embarrassment.
I don't have to mention that she never accepted one of my many attempts at a second date. I did have a great night after the date, though...so there's some silver lining to that terrible life-lesson I learned that day. Take it from me, friends: girls don't think that silly Irish t-shirts are as awesome as you do, even on St. Patrick's Day.
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